Thaal Pe Charcha: February 2020

On February 8th, as part of our International Zero Tolerance Day for FGM/C, Sahiyo hosted its first Thaal Pe Charcha (TPC) for 2020, with a special private screening of ‘A Girl from Mogadishu’, directed by Mary McGuckain.

The film is a true story based on the testimony of Ifrah Ahmed, a Somalian whose suffering acted as catalyst for one of the world’s biggest and most successful movements to end gender-based violence and female genital cutting.

The Sahiyo team and Thaal Pe Charcha participants were deeply moved by the film, and found resonance in Ifrah’s journey on fighting a practice deeply rooted in the culture and tradition of a community constantly seeking ways to establish their identity.

Participants at the February 8th Thaal Pe Charcha

‘Thaal Pe Charcha’, in which a diverse group of participants gather around a meal, and encourage conversations about ending Khatna (FGC) within the community, is currently in its third year and is one of Sahiyo’s more successful ground activities, which provides a safe environment for sharing solutions and stories.

Read about this ‘TPC’ through the lens of one participant in this thoughtful blog piece.

Taking the anti-FGC movement forward, with Thaal Pe Charcha participants

On 17th November 2018, Sahiyo hosted its seventh Thaal Pe Charcha (loosely translated as “discussions over food”) in Mumbai, India, with a diverse group of 17 participants. TPC is a flagship Sahiyo program where Bohra women are brought together in a private, informal setting to bond over food and discuss issues that affect their lives, particularly Female Genital Cutting or Khatna. For the November event, two participants travelled specially from Pune and Kerala respectively.

During this TPC, participants were divided into two groups that drew up plans for taking the movement against FGC forward through two different approaches. One group discussed engagement with lawmakers, medical professionals and other social stakeholders, as well as raising social awareness about FGC through animation videos and other such media. 

The second group discussed taking Thaal Pe Charcha itself forward, by reaching out to more and more members of the community and bringing in new participants along with them for the next TPC. They also discussed plans to reach out to Bohras in rural areas and organising their own TPC events with their friends and relatives. The groups formed separate Whatsapp groups to stay in touch and monitor the progress of their activities.

When Thaal Pe Charcha participants met Mumbai’s Veteran Activists

On 4th August 2018, Sahiyo hosted its sixth Thaal Pe Charcha (loosely translated as “discussions over food”) in Mumbai, India. TPC is a flagship Sahiyo program where Bohra women are brought together in a private, informal setting to bond over food and discuss issues that affect their lives, particularly Female Genital Cutting or Khatna. 

The TPC in August was unique because in addition to several regular and new participants from the Bohra community (five of whom were men), the event also featured women leaders and activists from various non-profit organizations working on women’s rights. They were invited to interact with participants and share their experiences, struggles and the knowledge gained in their journeys as women’s rights advocates. 

One of the activists was Flavia Agnes, a veteran feminist lawyer from Majlis, who was at the forefront of India’s women’s movement in the 1980s. Agnes shared her story of surviving domestic violence and going on to become a prominent lawyer helping other women with legal support in their fight for justice. 

Other guest speakers included Noorjehan Safia Niaz, the co-founder of the Bharatiya Muslim Mahila Andolan (BMMA), a prominent Muslim women’s organisation, and her team of two women Qazis (Islamic jurists) from BMMA. The three of them spoke about their struggle to get the practice of unilateral instantaneous divorce or triple talaq to be recognised as unconstitutional in India, as well as their efforts to bring justice to Muslim women by training women to become Qazis — a profession only open to men within traditional Islam. 

Dr. Sheroo Zamindar, a gynaecologist from Ahmedabad, also explained the medical consequences of undergoing Khatna. 

Participants of the TPC were enthusiastic in their interactions with the guest speakers and in their feedback to Sahiyo, mentioned that they appreciated the diverse perspectives that they offered during the event.

‘I have convinced my friends to refrain from Female Genital Cutting’

On January 27, 2018, Sahiyo hosted its fourth Thaal Pe Charcha (loosely translated as “discussions over food”) in Mumbai, India, with a diverse group of 18 participants. TPC is a flagship Sahiyo program where Bohra women are brought together in a private, informal setting to bond over food and discuss issues that affect their lives, particularly Female Genital Cutting or Khatna. 

The participants, six of whom were men, discussed ongoing developments around the movement to end khatna. Men were invited to share their own experiences of male circumcision as well as comment on the Khatna experience of young girls in the community or within their families. The participants were eager to be proactive in raising awareness about the harmful effects of Khatna on girls. One male participant shared that he convinced his mother and wife not to cut their seven-year old daughter by explaining the possible damage it could do to a child’s body and mind. He said, “I have also convinced my friends and their wives to refrain from doing this practice. There is just no need for it.”

Towards the end of the event, Sahiyo organised a special healing session for the women participants, conducted by a well-known alternate healing therapist who specializes in reconnective healing therapy. The therapist, Shabnam Contractor, is a member of the Bohra community and was able to understand how FGC might have affected the women participants. In the hour-long session, she helped participants explore aspects of their lives that may have been affected by undergoing FGC. After the session, most women experienced a sense of relief and expressed an interest in more such sessions in subsequent events.

Sahiyo Hosts ‘Thaal Pe Charcha’ Iftar Party in Mumbai

On May 11, Sahiyo India hosted a special Thaal Pe Charcha “Iftar” dinner in Mumbai during the holy month of Ramzan. The event was attended by 24 women and men from the Bohra community, who came together to break their Ramzan fasts and also mark two years since Sahiyo launched its flagship programme of Thaal Pe Charcha. 
Photo 1
Loosely translated as “discussions over food”, Thaal Pe Charcha provides community members with a safe and intimate platform to share their stories, experiences, and feelings about the practice of Female Genital Cutting, while bonding over traditional Bohra food. At least 50 community members have participated in Thaal Pe Charcha events over the past two years, and the Iftar dinner on May 11 saw five new participants join in, with several questions about the nature of the practice of FGC in the community, the arguments for and against it, and the work done by the movement against the practice. 

Two of the participants also brought their children for the event, including the seven-year-old daughter of Zohra, an FGC survivor. Girls in the Bohra community are typically cut at age seven, and Zohra expressed pride in the fact that she would not be continuing the practice on her daughter. 

The first Thaal Pe Charcha in Pune city

Earlier, in April, a Bohra FGC survivor and activist from Pune city hosted a small Thaal Pe Charcha lunch at her own home. The survivor, who identifies herself with the pseudonym Xenobia, had participated in Sahiyo India’s 2019 Activists’ Retreat in January. One of the workshops at the retreat was about hosting one’s own Thaal Pe Charcha in order to expand the conversations about FGC to more people. Xenobia was one of the first participants to volunteer to host her own Thaal Pe Charcha after the workshop, and the lunch she hosted at her house had 7 participants. 

Read about Xenobia’s experience of hosting the lunch in her own words, by clicking here.

California Thaal pe Charcha allowed me to share my experiences through storytelling

By Anonymous

I grew up in India, and when I moved to California a few years ago, I didn’t know anybody from the Bohra Jamaat (congregation). The Sahiyo ‘Thaal pe Charcha’ event came at a time in my life when I had been thinking a lot about sharing through storytelling. What a powerful tool it is to get people together and find ways to let go, heal and learn from our shared experiences. Sitting in a room full of Bohra women, sharing a meal in a thaal (a large circular steel dish), and exchanging laughs and a few cries too, I felt a strong sense of belonging. I soon learned that we all had very different upbringings outside of our Bohra lives, yet very similar experiences as women within the community.

My mother had her storytelling circle her group of women friends who met once a IMG_2198month at each other’s homes, shared a meal together and talked about their lives. She always came back from those gatherings with a glow on her face, as if a heavy burden had been lifted off her shoulders. She felt safe within that group, and the group was built on trust, love, respect, and compassion for each other.

As one of the facilitators of the California Thaal pe Charcha event, I was hoping to create a similar space for all our participants. I knew it would be a challenge since this was the first time we were all meeting, and it takes time to build trust and friendship. But it was heartwarming to see everyone feel so comfortable right from the beginning. The rest of the afternoon was full of rich and insightful discussions about what it meant to grow up Bohra in California, the multiple lives and identities that a woman has to balance, what we value about the community, the pressures, daily challenges and barriers that women faced within the community.

Interactive activities throughout the afternoon allowed participants to share something unique about their lives, and think about what community and freedom meant to them. And just when we needed a break to take in a few deep breaths, and process everything that we had discussed, we were treated to a hot cup of ‘chai’ that warmed our hearts and minds!

We ended the afternoon with many questions, dreams, and hopes in our minds. And I think that is the magic of such gatherings. It pushes us outside our comfort zones but allows us a space to share, to feel important, to know that our voices, our thoughts, and perspectives are appreciated and heard, and most importantly, a reminder, that we are never alone.

I look forward to many more gatherings where we can learn and grow together.

Read more reflections on the Bay Area TPC here!

Why I co-hosted a Sahiyo ‘Thaal pe Charcha’ lunch in New York

By Alifya Sulemanji

I had been hearing about Thaal pe Charcha (TPC), an event organized by Sahiyo, on a regular basis in Bombay India and it seemed like a very interesting concept to me. I felt inspired to host one at my home and bring together New York Bohra women for such an event. I reached out to few friends and acquaintances who I thought would be interested in being a part of this inaugural Thaal Pe Charcha event in the United States, and who would feel comfortable opening up about their daily lives.

Alifya Sulemanji alongside Sahiyo cofounder Mariya Taher at the inaugural TPC event in New York

One aspect about TPC that I found very vital is that the event is about creating a safe space where people can speak openly without fear of reprisal for their beliefs. I assured the women who attended that the TPC at my house would be a safe environment where we could speak openly about issues like Khatna (Female Genital Cutting), Iddat, and other topics that can negatively impact women in our community.

We all also agreed that there were some very good things about the Bohra community that we all appreciated, such as the feeling of community, the food, and the mannerisms also known as ‘Adab’ in Gujarati and ‘Tehzeeb’ in Urdu that helps guide our lives, such as food and eating etiquette, how we dress, how to be respectful, how to keep your house, cleanliness, and how you treat others. Yet, even with Adab, there certainly is a wide range of thought amongst the Bohra community regarding how strict certain rules and cultural activities must be, which at times can be oppressive as well.

After hosting this first TPC, a personal hope of mine is that the women and I will form strong relationships and trust with one another so together we can take action to change the parts in our community we find harmful.

I hope we will continue to organize more events like these in the future and form a supportive group of friends who will stand by one another.

Are you interested in hosting a Sahiyo Thaal Pe Charcha event in your own city or town in the U.S.? If yes, get in touch with Sahiyo at

Miti sitabi: Sahiyo hosts a special edition of Thaal pe Charcha in Mumbai

Sahiyo’s fifth Thaal pe Charcha event in Mumbai on April 7 was perhaps its most special one so far. On popular demand by the regular participants of the group, this Thaal pe Charcha was a miti sitabi — a special women’s meal hosted in honour of the Prophet’s daughter, Ma Fatema. At Sahiyo’s event, this special meal was hosted as a tribute to those Bohra girls who were not allowed to participate in miti sitabis if they were not circumcised.

Thaal pe Charcha, which loosely translates as “discussions over food”, is a Sahiyo flagship programme that brings together Bohra women and men in a safe space to share their feelings, experiences and views on Female Genital Cutting or khatna, while bonding over traditional Bohra food. This programme began in February 2017 with a group of 16 Bohra women and now has more than 30 women and men associated with it.

The April 7 Thaal pe Charcha had 21 of those participants, including five men. In fact, while there were two women-only thaals (traditional large dishes for seating 8 people) for the miti sitabi meal, this was the first time that a group of Bohra men had their own historic miti sitabi thaal. The meal began with traditional jaggery and roti, which is eaten at the start of every miti sitabi. At the end of the meal, participants completed the traditions by applying henna, perfume and small gifts with each other.

The only tradition that this miti sitabi did not follow was that of khatna, of using khatna as a definer of who a true Bohra is and who gets to sit at special community thaal events. This miti sitabi was open to all.

At the Thaal pe Charcha event, participants also shared stories about their journeys after they started speaking out about FGC. One participant, who was attending a Thaal pe Charcha for the first time, talked about how she resisted family pressure and managed to spare her younger daughter from the cut, even though she could not save her older daughter. Another participant shared her experience of having a khatna discussion with her father, who was convinced that FGC was mandated by the Shariat. However, after she had a heartfelt conversation with him, her father acknowledged the pain she had been put through and apologised to her.  Participants concluded the Thaal pe Charcha with a lively discussion on other kinds of social norms, besides khatna, that patriarchal communities use to repress women.

Screen Shot 2018-04-14 at 2.06.54 PM

At Sahiyo’s third Thaal pe Charcha, Bohra men attended too

In October 2017, Sahiyo hosted Thaal Pe Charcha (loosely translated as ‘discussions over food’) for the third time, with 22 participants from the Bohra community. Thaal Pe Charcha is a flagship Sahiyo programme that brings Bohra women together in an informal, private space, so that they can bond over traditional Bohra cuisine while discussing Female Genital Cutting and other issues that affect their lives. While Sahiyo’s first two TPC events were open only to women participants, the October event included 15 women as well as three men from the Bohra community in Mumbai.  

Most of the women who participated in the event had already attended the previous two TPC events held in February and July. With this third event, their comfort level in discussing FGC had grown. These women also brought their friends, cousins, and other relatives to join in on the discussion. Some women expressed that they had cautiously begun speaking about FGC with their families, friends, and spouses, which they had never done earlier. The women also spoke with their spouses about not performing FGC on their daughters.

The new women participants were able to clear some of their doubts about FGC and asked questions about why it is performed and why we need to stop practicing it on the next generation. Conversations about FGC have always been taboo and secretive in the community, so being in a safe and intimate space at the TPC helped the women discuss it openly.

By listening to the stories and concerns of the women, the men who attended the Thaal Pr Charcha were able to get a deeper understanding of how the practice affects women. They were very open to discussing FGC and even suggested several ways to raise further awareness about the harms caused by the practice and how to promote abandonment of FGC.  

One of the highlights of the event was having one of the women participants, Saleha, share her story of undergoing FGC. After listening to Saleha’s story, a few women and men were in tears. Some women said they experienced flashbacks to their own experience of undergoing FGC. Saleha sharing her story helped make other women feel comfortable talking about their own FGC experiences. Many women’s stories were similar in terms of how the cutting occurred, how they felt anger, fear, shame, depression and a sense of being cheated by those they trusted.

Over lunch, men and women continued their discussion on FGC, as well as other various issues occurring within the Bohra community. Participants also discussed ways in which they could all work at the grassroots level to raise awareness about ending FGC.


દાઉદી બોહરા મહિલાઓ માટે ‘સહિયો’એ યોજ્યો દ્વિતીય ‘થાલ પે ચર્ચા’ કાર્યક્રમ

ગત પહેલી જુલાઈએ ‘સહિયો’એ તેનો દ્વિતીય ‘થાલ પે ચર્ચા’ કાર્યક્રમ યોજ્યો હતો. દાઉદી બોહરા સમુદાયની ૨૦ મહિલાઓએ આ કાર્યક્રમમાં હાજરી આપી હતી. ‘થાલ પે ચર્ચા’નો સામાન્ય શબ્દોમાં ‘ભોજન કરવાની સાથોસાથ ચર્ચા’ તરીકે થાય છે. ‘સહિયો’નો આ ફ્લેગશિપ કાર્યક્રમ છે, જેમાં બોહરા મહિલાઓને ખાનગી, અનૌપચારિક વાતાવરણમાં ભેગી કરાય છે, જેથી તેઓ ભોજન કરતી વખતે એકબીજાની સાથે સંબંધ બાંધે અને FGC (ફિમેલ જેનિટલ કટિંગ) અથવા ખત્ના/ખફઝ જેવી તેમના જીવનને અસર કરતી સમસ્યાઓની ચર્ચા કરી શકે.

‘સહિયો’નો પ્રથમ ‘થાલ પે ચર્ચા’ કાર્યક્રમ ફેબ્રુઆરીમાં યોજાયો હતો અને તેમાં વીસ અને ત્રીસ વર્ષથી મોટી વયની મહિલાઓએ હાજરી આપી હતી. આ વખતના કાર્યક્રમમાં તમામ વય જૂથોની મહિલાઓએ હાજરી આપી હતી, જેમાં સૌથી યુવાન મહિલા ૧૮ વર્ષની હતી જ્યારે સૌથી જઈફ ૭૪ વર્ષના હતા. આ મહિલાઓમાં વિદ્યાર્થિનીઓ, નોકરિયાત વ્યવસાયીઓ, ગૃહિણીઓ તથા એક પ્રૅક્ટિસિંગ ડૉક્ટરનો પણ સમાવેશ થતો હતો. આ ઉદારવૃત્તિ ધરાવતાં મિશ્રણો, દાઉદી બોહરા સમુદાયમાં પ્રવર્તમાન અતિ-ચર્ચિત ખત્ના પ્રથા વિશે, વિભિન્ન વસ્તીઓ ફરતે મહિલાઓની વિચાર પ્રક્રિયાઓનો તાગ મેળવવાની ‘સહિયો’ને તક પૂરી પાડી હતી.

પરિચય કરાવનારા સત્રની સાથે આ કાર્યક્રમ શરૂ થયો હતો અને ત્યાર બાદ પ્રિયા ગોસ્વામીની ફિલ્મ ‘એ પિન્ચ ઑફ સ્કિન’ દર્શાવાઈ હતી. સ્વાદિષ્ટ, પરંપરાગત થાળ ભોજન પીરસાયું હતું અને ખત્ના વિશે મહિલાઓના વિચારોની ખુલ્લા મંચ (ઓપન કોરમ)ની ચર્ચા યોજાઈ હતી.

આ સદીઓ જૂની પરંપરાના પોતાના અનુભવો વિશે વાત કરતી વખતે મહિલાઓને ભાવુક બનેલી જોઈને હિંમત સાંપડી હતી. અમુક મહિલાઓએ તેમની દીકરીઓની ખત્ના કરાવવા બદલ અફસોસ વ્યક્ત કર્યો હતો. અન્ય મહિલાઓએ જણાવ્યું હતું કે જો તેમને પસંદગી કરવાની તક મળે તો, આ અત્યંત દુઃખદાયક રીવાજ અને તેના લાભ અને ગેરલાભ વિશે કેળવણી પામવાનું તેમને ગમશે અને કદાચ તેમની પુત્રીઓની ખત્ના કરાવવાથી તેઓ દૂર રહેશે. આ કાર્યક્રમનું મુખ્ય આકર્ષણ નિશ્ર્ચિત્તપણે ૭૪ વર્ષીય વૃદ્ધા હતાં જેમણે તેમની પુત્રીની ખત્ના થવા નહીં દે, એવું સુનિશ્ર્ચિત્ત કરવા વર્ષો અગાઉ પરંપરાઓને પડકારી હતી.

(This report was originally published in English on August 16, 2017. Read the English version here.)