California Thaal pe Charcha allowed me to share my experiences through storytelling

By Anonymous

I grew up in India, and when I moved to California a few years ago, I didn’t know anybody from the Bohra Jamaat (congregation). The Sahiyo ‘Thaal pe Charcha’ event came at a time in my life when I had been thinking a lot about sharing through storytelling. What a powerful tool it is to get people together and find ways to let go, heal and learn from our shared experiences. Sitting in a room full of Bohra women, sharing a meal in a thaal (a large circular steel dish), and exchanging laughs and a few cries too, I felt a strong sense of belonging. I soon learned that we all had very different upbringings outside of our Bohra lives, yet very similar experiences as women within the community.

My mother had her storytelling circle her group of women friends who met once a IMG_2198month at each other’s homes, shared a meal together and talked about their lives. She always came back from those gatherings with a glow on her face, as if a heavy burden had been lifted off her shoulders. She felt safe within that group, and the group was built on trust, love, respect, and compassion for each other.

As one of the facilitators of the California Thaal pe Charcha event, I was hoping to create a similar space for all our participants. I knew it would be a challenge since this was the first time we were all meeting, and it takes time to build trust and friendship. But it was heartwarming to see everyone feel so comfortable right from the beginning. The rest of the afternoon was full of rich and insightful discussions about what it meant to grow up Bohra in California, the multiple lives and identities that a woman has to balance, what we value about the community, the pressures, daily challenges and barriers that women faced within the community.

Interactive activities throughout the afternoon allowed participants to share something unique about their lives, and think about what community and freedom meant to them. And just when we needed a break to take in a few deep breaths, and process everything that we had discussed, we were treated to a hot cup of ‘chai’ that warmed our hearts and minds!

We ended the afternoon with many questions, dreams, and hopes in our minds. And I think that is the magic of such gatherings. It pushes us outside our comfort zones but allows us a space to share, to feel important, to know that our voices, our thoughts, and perspectives are appreciated and heard, and most importantly, a reminder, that we are never alone.

I look forward to many more gatherings where we can learn and grow together.

Read more reflections on the Bay Area TPC here!

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My Reflections on the first-ever California Bay Area Thaal Pe Charcha

By Maria Akhterimg_2212.jpg

On Oct 21st in a cozy home in Berkeley, CA, a team of Sahiyo activists organized
our first Bay Area Thaal Pe Charcha.

Thaal Pe Charcha (TPC) is a Sahiyo flagship program that allows Bohra women to come together in a private, informal setting so that they can bond over food and discuss issues that affect their lives, like Female Genital Cutting or Khatna. The program started in Mumbai, India in 2017 and is being piloted in the United States.

The weeks leading up to the Bay Area event were full of
excitement and anticipation for what we hoped would be the pilot of a new program
and the start of new friendships in the Bay Area.

The team and I spent a few weeks carefully crafting our invitations and considering
whom to include in this informal discussion about the norms and challenges of
being a Bohra woman.

With delicious food displayed on our thaals and a crisp Autumn breeze flowing in
the room, 13 women gathered around a living room and engaged in a unique
conversation.

We went around the circle and introduced ourselves, sharing a memory or item in a
show-and-tell icebreaker. We discussed challenges and conflicts we’d faced in the
Bohra community in the Bay Area and globally as well as various strengths and joys
we’d experienced in the Bohra community.

Familiar faces and new ones surrounded me. My mother, childhood friend, and
fellow Sahiyo activists surrounded me with a comfort in knowing that I had their
support and that I had encouraged them to join me at this event.

The Bay Area is a tough area to operate in. Bohra women are more hesitant to speak
out and form connections with Sahiyo, so I considered this TPC a huge milestone in
breaking the silence around FGM/C in the Bay Area specifically. I could tell from
conversations that rose up that many of the women wanted a space to share their
voices and to connect with other like-minded women.

My hope is that these events continue to occur and that they grow and expand in
ways that benefit the community. There was substantial tentative interest from the
attendees in continuing to meet and my goal is to turn the Bay Area TPC group into
a consistent resource for any and all Bay Area Bohra women with an interest in
open communication and positive change.

Read more reflections on the Bay Area TPC here!

Why I co-hosted a Sahiyo ‘Thaal pe Charcha’ lunch in New York

By Alifya Sulemanji

I had been hearing about Thaal pe Charcha (TPC), an event organized by Sahiyo, on a regular basis in Bombay India and it seemed like a very interesting concept to me. I felt inspired to host one at my home and bring together New York Bohra women for such an event. I reached out to few friends and acquaintances who I thought would be interested in being a part of this inaugural Thaal Pe Charcha event in the United States, and who would feel comfortable opening up about their daily lives.

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Alifya Sulemanji alongside Sahiyo cofounder Mariya Taher at the inaugural TPC event in New York

One aspect about TPC that I found very vital is that the event is about creating a safe space where people can speak openly without fear of reprisal for their beliefs. I assured the women who attended that the TPC at my house would be a safe environment where we could speak openly about issues like Khatna (Female Genital Cutting), Iddat, and other topics that can negatively impact women in our community.

We all also agreed that there were some very good things about the Bohra community that we all appreciated, such as the feeling of community, the food, and the mannerisms also known as ‘Adab’ in Gujarati and ‘Tehzeeb’ in Urdu that helps guide our lives, such as food and eating etiquette, how we dress, how to be respectful, how to keep your house, cleanliness, and how you treat others. Yet, even with Adab, there certainly is a wide range of thought amongst the Bohra community regarding how strict certain rules and cultural activities must be, which at times can be oppressive as well.

After hosting this first TPC, a personal hope of mine is that the women and I will form strong relationships and trust with one another so together we can take action to change the parts in our community we find harmful.

I hope we will continue to organize more events like these in the future and form a supportive group of friends who will stand by one another.

Are you interested in hosting a Sahiyo Thaal Pe Charcha event in your own city or town in the U.S.? If yes, get in touch with Sahiyo at info@sahiyo.com